Monday, 16 January 2012


Turn the music on.

Block out the feelings. Block out the memories. The smells, the illustration.

Feel the pressure and the fuzz and the confusion, and the blur build behind my skull until it becomes one big noise.

Turn the music off.


For a second. The feelings and events come flooding in, my body immersed in this cold, damp, alien feeling. It's coming back. What is this? Is this okay? I need to face this at some stage, deal with it. That panicky paranoia is poking at me now. "Hi there." *Waves awkwardly*.

It's too much. The fear is too much. I feel alone. I can't face this all by myself.

Turn the music on.

Until somebody holds my hand and shows me that it's okay to turn it off.


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