Despite the fact that my diabetes diagnosis was amazing for me physically (I went from close to death to physically healthy after starting on insulin), it did take an emotional toll. I thought I would repost one of my blog posts from when I was newly diagnosed. I have some quite upsetting blog posts and diary entries from that time, but I decided instead that I would post this one, as it made me smile. I was so innocent to diabetes - I can't believe that I expected a 7.9mmol/l (142mg/dl) to just stay stable as I wandered around the town, or that I was shocked at having a 3.8mmol/l (68) without symptoms. At the time, that was my lowest BG ever!
On a sad note, my grandma isn't with us anymore. She fought that cancer hard for 4 years before she died on October 16th of 2011. I miss her.
Here is a post from my 14 year old self, from around one month after I was diagnosed with diabetes:
so. today. was supposed to be going on a trip with school, to do watersports. for 6 hours a day, for seven days. yeah. that was NEVER gonna happen in my current state! (lets just say for the last six months I had uncontrolled diabetes I lost a couple of pounds a day. every day. even though I was eating around three times [at least] more than usual. this was mostly muscle, therefore I am now a puny, pathetic little weakling [; but seriously. no way!) so instead, I got the money back from the insurance and decided to spend this week actually trying out some normal teenager typed things (don’t worry, no drink or drugs… apart from insulin, and painkillers, duh) just like going to the cinema, into town, whateverrr. so today I went to the cinema to see Harry Potter (for the second time – the film wasn’t the point for me!!!) with Abby and Ellie. the only problem was, the film started at 13.45. riggght over when I’d usually eat lunch. so we decided to meet up beforehand and have lunch in town. so I had breakfast at 10.00 and got into town for meeting at 12.10. everything’s going fine, checked my sugar on the bus and it was 7.9. great number for me, I was very chuffed as it meant I’d got my breakfast just right. we wandered around for 20 mins or so checking the cafe possibilities, and finally settled on where we wanted to go. so it had been about 2.5 hours since breakfast. I expected to be around 7 mmol/l by this point. got food, sat down, checked sugar. “THREE POINT EIGHT!!!!” Abby: “isn’t that kinda low.” Me: “nahhh I’ll be fiine.” damnnn. 3.8. what did I do to make it 3.8. why didn’t I FEEL 3.8??
now, I know 3.8 isn’t that bad. but usually my hands are shaking at 5. usually I have TOO MUCH hypoglycaemic awareness. I should feel a 3.8. the lowest I’ve ever been (since I got D I mean, I’ve been pretty low before that, but that’s not related) is 4.3.
anywayy. I ate a glucose tablet, to be on the safe side, I had my lunch, I had my NovoRapid. I went to the cinema, I STUFFED my face with popcorn, without bolusing any extra. check half an hour afterwards. 7.7. these are great numbers and all, but it’s NOT RIGHT that I should be having them whilst stuffing my face and sitting still for 3 hours! I’m 6.0 now. this just isn’t right. on the bright side, it could be my first day below 10 all day!!!
life in general is not great. my grandma has to go into hospital for cancer treatment on the 16th. hoping everything goes okay with that.
I promise to post more often in the future.
I'm happy to have come so far in 5 years. I've even started capitalising at the beginning of sentences.
A week before diagnosis. I just looked sick. It's not obvious in the photo, because I tried to cover it up with my baggy school uniform, but I had lost around 25lbs from my healthy weight at this point. In the week before diagnosis I lost around 15lbs more.
Now I have a pump and a CGMS. And I might have more items on my prescription than any of my friends (IRL), but compared to how I was at diagnosis, my body is healthy. Can't complain about that!
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